🏁 SCISSOR LIFT NATIONALS – AUSTIN, MINNESOTA 🏁 Engines? ❌ Nitro? ❌ Horsepower? ❌ What we do have: ✔️ 19 feet of vertical dominance ✔️ A slightly sketchy joystick ✔️ One guy yelling “YOU’RE CLEAR” from below Welcome to the Scissor Lift Nationals, where legends are made one slow inch at a time. • Fastest rise to the ceiling • Cleanest overhead light install • Bonus points for not bumping the grid • Automatic disqualification if you forget to plug it in Crowd favorite move: ➡️ Going up ➡️ Realizi

WARNING: Whistleblower sounds the horn - major food production plants in Minnesota have brought in Somalians who defecated & urinated everywhere. This food is being distributed all over the United States and Canada. Here is a list of all the major food processing plants in Minnesota which includes General Mills, Land O’Lakes, Schwan’s, Pepsi, Coca Cola, Kemps dairy, and Pilgrim’s Pride… •Hormel Foods – Austin Plant — Austin, MN •Quality Pork Processors (QPP) — Austin, MN •JBS Pork Processing Pla

🏈🐿️ IT’S GAME DAY, GOPHER FANS! 🐿️🏈 The Minnesota Gophers are on tonight and the Club is the place to be! We open at 3:00 PM, with kickoff at 3:30 PM — so come on in, grab a seat, and cheer them on with us! 📺🍻 🔥 Game Day Specials 🔥 🍹 Maroon Madness – just $5 🍽️ Fish Dinner Special from 5:00–8:00 PM 👉 Plus, all your regular menu favorites are available too! 🎉 Show your team spirit! Wear your U of M or Gopher gear, bring your friends, and let’s turn the Club into maroon and gold tonigh